On AskMen.com, the relationship columnist and the fitness columnist duke it out on why men should---or should not---do yoga . It's a real-men-don't-eat-quiche kind of discussion with dumb-ass humour, dude stereotyping, and the assumption that men are compulsively two-dimensional. Both pro- and con- columnists seem to be protecting some faked-up fragile male ego that could be emasculated by words like "teacup" and phrases like, "how do you feel?" All pretty ridiculous considering that yoga was originally conceived by men for men. It just seems like these writers don't actually do yoga. Here's a quote from the pro-yoga, fitness writer Kevin Neeld: "Before we're tarred and feathered by women in leotards and men that own all of Yanni’s CDs, hear us out. We love yoga, but it’s a tool to be used for very specific purposes." Yeah, we know who's the tool here, Kevin. Also: "A well-designed yoga routine provides a great dynamic stretch and muscular activation series to use before other forms of training or just to mix into your day to get you out of a chair for a few minutes." Please don't call that yoga.
The anti-yoga writer, Chris Illuminati, relies on jokes that revolve around 1. getting some and 2. not getting laughed at by the guys. But he does manage to list four reasons why men shouldn't and don't do yoga (Yoga Journal, are you listening?). They are dumb, but they might be a little bit true:1. Real men don't carry mats. Okay, point taken-- I don't like to carry a yoga mat either.2. No man should bend that way. Illuminati writes, "A workout should involve the release of aggression through the movement of weights or the scoring of points." Should is a strong word, Chris.3. There are too many phrases to remember. "Men don't like to think."4. Yoga makes you look like a stalker. "Even if you are 100% interested in actually taking yoga, you will just look like the creepy guy in the back of class who might just be staring at every woman’s backside." Dude, see Ogden (last post).We've got all these issues covered, over here in the yoga world, boys. Which makes me wonder: what are you doing over there at AskMen?Oh, I know. Thinking about boobs."It might be a little more guy-friendly if the instructor said “bend over like you are picking up a quarter” or “react like you just threw your back out and can’t stand straight.” If an instructor is telling me to get in the downward dog after a tittibhasana, I’m just going to lie down on my stomach, because those words conjure up naughty thoughts, creating what is frequently referred to as the “living wood.”